Living the life you chose..

I was an early bird today. Jam 3 lewat kebangun dan gak bisa balik tidur lagi, karena anak gue 'tereak2' idungnya tersumbat. Gosh, emang panas banget. I never enjoy sleeping on summer nights!. Panas banget and asli sumuk. Gak beda ama Jakarta. Bedanya cuma di Jakarta orang terbuai ama ademnya AC, disini...jangan tanya. AC tuh luxus...muahal banget Boww. Alternatif buka jendela, yang ada bugs2 summer yang gede2 and aneh2 bisa aja nyicipin manisnya darah lo..hihihi...serem.... alternatif lain, kipas angin. Ini yang masih bisa di cobain, walaupun ujung2nya masuk angin...hahahaha....very human. Never stop complaining...:-).

So, abis ngasih tetes hidung ke Kay, dia balik tidur gue stuck, nggak bisa balik tidur. Iseng2 main sudoku...hehehehe----kurker banget ya.:-)
Sudoku mentok, bolak-balik gak selesai2 karena di kepala gue ada macam2 pikiran. plus kaki dan badan gue pegel semua. Sepagian ini nyiapin masakan karena ada nyonya2 Muenchen mau main ke rumah and abis itu kita ngejelajah outlet bareng plus mall bareng. ....haahaha. Pantes aja anak si Kay teriak2 kaki sakit alias pegel karena kita ibu2 sich asik aja ngobrol di meja makan, sementara mereka main sepeda, main bola...lari2an. Ya pasti mereka lebih capek kali ya....:-)

Anyway, sambil kepala gue berlogika dgn sudoku, gue inget pembicaraan dengan salah satu teman gue tadi. Dia mungkin satu2nya mother yang gue tau sering menyatakan, "I might not be a good mother!", bukan karena she's not a good one, tapi mungkin karena she thought too much about what other people think. (sorry jeng....that's what I think).

Gue jadi inget beberapa diskusi di milist khusus moms beberapa bulan yang lalu yang sorry-sorry aja ya, menurut gue tuh basi banget, karena ngapain sich ngeributin urusan stay at home moms vs working mom atau apa deh istilahnya. In my opinion, it's all about choices.
You're lucky when you able to choose something freely tanpa ada tekanan apa-apa. But sometime we have to choose something that might not be our first choice. Does that make us a bad person?

I am a mother who stays home. I watch my kids growing. I cook, I clean, and I serve the family, as best as I could. This is the life I chose. I know all the consequences. I know it's far from perfect but I love it and I enjoy every second of it. Live the life as it is, up and down, happy and sad, cheers and tears.

But on the other hand, this friend of mine. She chose to do something for the family, on the other way around. She might not be able to watch the kids growing. But she probably can afford the best for the kids. Ok, you might want to say the difference between a mother and the professional...I know, you don’t have to tell me. But considering this, you are on the situation you don't seem to like, and can't stop complaining. There are still things you can do and probably you have to do on that unlucky situation, but since you were pretty upset, you have no desire to do that, or even if you do, the outcome would not be optimal.
And other situation,
You have a chance to escape the situation and do what you like. You have someone else to do your other 'thing', and you took your chances. And you feel more comfortable with your life, with yourself, and your other obligations are taken care too. That's a win-win situation.

Ok, back to 'mother', 'good mother' or better mother'.
What makes a mother a better mom?
Because of her 24h job around the house? Does that mean a stay at home mom makes a better mom? I am sorry to say, it's not true. I am a stay at home mother, but I don't believe that craps.
Or
Because of she teaches the kids all by herself?
Maybe for some area. Parents should teach the kids the value of life, things should do, thing should not do, or some moral story. And it doesn't take 24h to teach the kids that kind of thing, it takes a whole life. But other ability, I guess we still have other option. Professional. I can not swim, so better I ask someone to teach my kids swimming. Fair enough!
Or
Because she does every part of the family life? She cook, she cleans the house, taking care of the kid plus is still employed by other people?
I don’t think so, by the time she got home, she might have no energy left to even speak to the family.
Or
Because she sacrificed herself to the family?
Sacrificing is a part of life. You sacrifice yourself to the family you love, it's an honor act. But it's not the sacrificing that makes you better; it's the willingness to take the action, the love you gave on doing the sacrificing.

It’s you that make you a better mom. Even it makes you a better person.
It’s your happiness, that brighten the family days
It’s not theirs to say...
Live the life you chose. Don’t bother!